The more I reflect on the past year, the more growth I can see happening in my life. At the same time, I see a lot of areas where I failed miserably. One of those was in over-committing myself, taking on too much, and doing a lot of things haphazardly. I would desire instead to do fewer things, with excellence.
Having set some goals and discovered my Words for 2012 (personal – intentional; children – grace; husband – serve), I got absolutely hammered by every temptation and distraction that could do some damage in tearing down the walls that I was attempting to build. I spent MORE time on the computer than I had planned, due to some posts and series I left to the last minute, plus link-ups I wanted to join in and comment on. I lost my temper more with the kids, was stressed out more, even had a pretty good row with my hubby on the day I prayed for him about relationships through 31 Days to Build a Better Spouse. As Casting Crowns puts it “I was a one-way travelin’, slowly unravelin’, shell of a (wo)man.”. Literally, I was headed for a train wreck and needed to get into a siding before a bigger disaster occurred!
If you had asked me on Saturday how my “resolutions” were going, I probably would have laughed and then cried, because my goal of being intentional – starting specifically with my time – was not really anywhere to be seen. And that’s when I realized that I needed to give the time back to God, and let him start the process of it all in me.
Project 52 @ My 3 Boybarians – Week 1: Resolutions
Finally, I felt myself calming down from break neck speed as I sat in our service yesterday, the first time back at church for a couple of weeks (due to being away and sickness). While I’d been having my daily devotion time, it was rushed and distracted as I was thinking ahead to things I wanted to do or write about; plus, I hadn’t been under anyone’s teaching for a while, and while you can survive for some time on your own study, it is important to submit yourself to the leadership and teaching of those who have been called to that position.
Over the course of the day I formulated a plan of action – a plan to attack this burden of not being intentional about being intentional. I needed a game plan and I needed it fast. That’s when I remembered #3in30. Yeah, remember when I posted about it back in August? I hang my head in embarrassment – yet another thing I decided to tackle and could not keep up with – not for lack of time, but lack of planning.
I spent this morning praying about what to do, and felt the Lord really speaking to me. Our sermon yesterday was on who are you listening to? In the world of blogging, there are so many voices, so many women who encourage, who are on journeys of sorrow and triumph, and many who are struggling to keep up, rather than rest in God. I’m somewhere in the midst of all that, but if this thing is to be of God, I want it to be defined by me through him- not what defines me.
Now that I realize I am going to need to be WAY MORE intentional about being intentional, I’ve defined some areas I want to be intentional IN:
- Quiet time – get to bed early (by 10:30) to get back to my 5:00 wake up so I can not be distracted in my quiet time
- Hubby – planning date nights at LEAST every other week – it’s BECAUSE our schedules are so busy that we need this, and it’s worth figuring it out in advance, otherwise it can go on for months not happening
- Homeschool – planning schedules and activities, crafts, field trips to enhance our learning experience – IN ADVANCE
- Kids – planning fun activities in our down time, not just using the time to be on the computer or do my own selfish things
- Blogging – LOVE blogging, but I need to be intentional about how and when I blog
- Friends – having mommy friends over once a month for lunch with kids, inviting a few couples over for dinner throughout the month
My specific #3in30 goals for this month are:
1. Read “Tell Your Time” by Amy Lynn Andrews and come up with a realistic blogging schedule that I can feel good sticking to.
2. Decide on a few link-ups to participate in so that I am not spread so thin all over the place. As much as I love to read what everyone is doing and going through, I just physically cannot possibly absorb and benefit from it all, nor be of benefit to anyone else if I’m blasting through the reading.
3. Determine a schedule of computer time for myself. I can only do this once I figure out how and when I’m blogging and participating. But it’s important to be intentional about limiting myself.
How about you? Did you set some new years’ resolutions and goals that you’re having a hard time focusing on? What do you need to eliminate or reduce in order to help you get there? Talk to God, he has laid it on your hearts and if he wants you there, he is all ready to bring you along the way.