I failed this week. Miserably.
Not just in the 21 Days of Prayer challenge.
But also in my attitude.
I should be used to this by now. In our home, we have a good week, generally followed by a tough week. Sometimes we get two or more good weeks in a row. But not this time.
After last week’s realizations, revelations, prayers, praises, and changes in attitude….we went right back to “normal” this week. Our oldest, who turns six at the end of next week, seems to be bound and determined to spend his last weeks as a 5 year old testing every rule, limit and boundary we’ve set in place. Then that trickles down to the other 2, who indeed, follow suit.
Then there’s the matter of my attitude. Wowzer I’ve had a doozy of a time with it! And everyone knows, when momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
It seems to me that someone isn’t happy with the progress we’ve been making and was doing everything possible to tear down what is being built up. I missed praying “Joy” on day 10, and it was, of course, the 1 day of the week that I NEEDED to pray for joy. I was the meanest, nastiest, grumpiest mama I’ve been in a while.
However, for this I am thankful. Not for the way I/we behaved. But for the testing. Because it means that I have a choice to make. Do I allow each day to continue down the same path as the previous day? Or do I fight back and take what I am learning and put it to use?
I do have some positives from this week. When we prayed “Honour” on day 8, I was convicted of my attitude toward others – specifically other DRIVERS :D. You know the kind I’m talking about. Well, I would mutter under my breath choice words which they, of course, would never, ever hear. But my children do. On that day we prayed “Honour everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the emperor.” (1 Peter 2:17)
And I realized that when I behave that way toward others, I am not honouring them! So what if they’re not deserving? Who says I deserve to be honoured?!?! I am finding myself holding in check my murmurings and complaining, not just verbally, but also stopping them before I even think it.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
I definitely prayed without ceasing this week. But I still tried to survive on my own strength. I definitely was brought low a number of times and had to ask forgiveness from my heavenly Father, and my children. But I received 2nd, 3rd and 4th chances. I definitely had a hard time giving thanks in all circumstances. But God was good and provided grace to get through it.
This I do know. God is at work in our lives here. And Satan is fighting back. Which means I need to “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:11)
I’m not going to give in or give up. I’m going to fight. For myself, for my husband, for my children.